何其幸運

何其幸運，這個世界上有了你，文生。但又如Don McLean輕柔唱訴：世界上不配有你這麼美麗的人。

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now

Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand

For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.
Like the stranger that you’ve met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will.

在慕尼黑，在阿姆斯特丹，在倫敦，在巴黎。停下腳步想念、微笑或者在奧賽 ──來往的行人令我百感交集，哭哭啼啼地在文生的字畫像面前說對不起，弄得顧展人員不知所措，我只是很想念你，只是覺得巴黎人，或是在巴黎的人，真的是壞得可以，直到現在即使畫價高了仍沒有變……當下我寫了封信給文生：

文生：我在你為保羅準備的房間前。你知道嗎，多少人盯著你們的房間看，現在還有一種叫作數位相機的東西，可以輕易地把你的一切(或是一部分)帶回家，或瞬間銷毀。他們還是這樣，盡情地經過你。誰配呢？這個世界根本不配有你這麼美麗的人。你從薄荷泡泡糖深皺眉大概看得到吧，這個作踐你的世界。我只是想寫信給你，可惜我不會荷蘭文和法文。文生，你真美。你知道嗎，這裡好多說英文、說德文的人和亞洲臉孔來看你，雖然大家都這麼不配，你就對他們……繼續皺深眉吧。我哭了，我好想你。

15052008

收件人 Vicent van Gogh，住址 Heaven。

而你的向日葵仍在慕尼黑新美術館(Neue Pinakothek)嘶吼般地綻放著，襯著最澄的薄荷碧，土黃色的線勾了桌緣與瓶，瓶上瓷光皎潔，卻遠不及你太美麗的名。你不細說每片花瓣的紋，而是告訴了她們跳舞的姿，用力撐開、躍去的方向。芯或如瞳鈴凝望，或如針氈密密，垂直地擺佈了顏料；萼則張牙，帶點扭曲，擠著蔓延著。你永遠的金黃或許在說你的當下，而金黃是璀璨是錯亂，還是亞耳的溫暖陽光，只有配得的人知道，比如你所心愛的西奧。

誰配得討論，誰割了你的耳，耳又去了哪呢？真正割耳的是匆匆的快門聲吧。何其幸運，我還跟你的花兒們住在同一個城市。